Quinte, On. real estate agent: Crap Served Fast

Crap Served Fast


I was waiting in line to pay at the local convenience store this afternoon. Usually I walk down about once a day and buy a bag of chips or a similar snack. It's my daily treat. It should only take a minute, right? After all, it's just a little bag of chips, it comes to $1.48, I'll hand the guy $1.50 and walk out. That's why it's a "convenience store", they should be conveniently located and it should be convenient for me to nip in and out of them post haste. Not any more.

With the introduction of the various types of lottery tickets over the last few years, the wait in the line-up has become longer and longer. Sometimes it can take quite a while for people to decide which tickets to purchase, whether they want this combination or that combination, what numbers to play etc. etc.  The absolute worst are those silly little snap and peel tickets where people stand there and open them, oblivious as to who may be waiting behind them.  Ooooh, if my eyes were capable of shooting out Lazer beams there would be more than one exploded head in Trenton.

I have noticed the same phenomenon at Tim Horton's. I used to be able to go in and get a coffee in a matter of a couple of minutes. Not any more. With their introduction of soups, sandwiches, chili, and other menu items, the process now takes considerably longer. The ladies behind the counter are always looking flustered because they simply have way too much to do now. Customers also contribute to this by standing in line for five minutes and then deciding on what to eat when they are standing in front of the cashier (and ladies, please have your purse on the ready - did you think you weren't going to have to pay?).

It seems that many places are trying to be everything to everybody. As profit margins for each individual item shrinks, more items are introduced in an attempt to bring more customers in. This doesn't really work very well for people like me who value the convenience of the whole process rather than the quality of the item. Really, if I were interested in a quality soup and salad, I would be going to a restaurant rather than a coffee shop. It makes me long for he days when the coffee truck would pull around and blare its horn. The coffee was lousy, but it was served in a matter of seconds.

Maybe I'll open a store/restaurant called Crap served Fast, I bet there's still a maket for that. I'd charge a lot more than other places too, because for some people, convenience is still what they desire the most at certain times.


Comment balloon 16 commentsMalcolm Johnston • September 17 2010 02:19PM


Malcolm: Crap served fast may already be in use by some real estate people!


Posted by Ty Lacroix (Envelope Real Estate Brokerage Inc) over 8 years ago

I was thinking the same thing yesterday.  Why can owners not have two lines: one for lottery purchases and one for quick check out...but that requires some thought.  I am an old lady so I try to be patient at the grocery store but you get an elderly person in front of you who starts digging in their pockets or purses after the cashier gives them the price and then they start handing coupons or asking someone to fill out their check.  It's hard when you are in a hurry to not snort and prance! LOL

Posted by Linda Hinson (S & L Properties) over 8 years ago

I don't get it either!

I was at Tim's last week and so upset with their famous donuts. It's not just the profit margin that's shrinking.. its the donuts too. I limit my intake of such items but my son insisted on buying me a donut. Jelly donuts are now 21/2" in diameter and a micro smidgen of filling... I wasn't even sure what flavour it was. I ranted for days that I would open up a real donut shop and call it "remember when.. real donuts" the equipment is fairly cheap these days... still considering it...

Posted by Sergio DePinto (Royal LePage Maximum Realty.,Brokerage - Greater Toronto Area) over 8 years ago

Since most of what I eat is crap from drive thru windows, and it's not all that fast, I'd probably be first in line at Crap Served Fast!  It would be even better if it was Crap Served Fast With a Smile!



Posted by Gayla Worrell, Real Estate Webworks (Windermere Real Estate/Everett, Inc.) over 8 years ago

Crap Served Fast might get too busy to be fast.  Then you would have to open Crap Served Faster which of course would get busier when Crap Served Fast closed down because all the customers switched to Crap Served Faster and the cycle would continue.   Too bad, its a great idea and you would have my business - I hate lineups. 

Posted by Diane Friesen (Century 21 Coastal Realty Ltd.) over 8 years ago


Excellent  concept. It should work. Only one little problem: the name.

Recently a seafood restaurant called "The Funky Tuna" went out of business. Decent enough food etc., but people didn't like the name.


Posted by Brian Madigan, LL.B., Broker (RE/MAX West Realty Inc., Brokerage (Toronto)) over 8 years ago

Fabulous idea Malcolm and it sounds like you have a waiting audience! Don't get us started on the drive thru windows though....

Posted by Al & Peggy Cunningham, Brokers, Our Family Wants To Help Your Family! (RE/MAX West Realty Inc., Brokerage) over 8 years ago

Sounds like a winner to me but why not add to it..."Crap Served Fast with Man-Sized Doughnuts" (in deference to Sergio)

All that stuff is huge around here...especially at the border stores....but most have a separate place to purchase!
I will admit I've become a convert to coupon clipping($$$$) but I always have them in hand (and none are out of date)

Posted by Joan Mirantz, Realtor, GRI, CBR, SRES - Concord New Hampshire (Homequest Real Estate) over 8 years ago

Envelope Real Estate Brokerage Inc  Yes Ty, I'm sure that someone out there has that motto.

Linda Hinson Realtor (Coldwell Banker Sloane Realty) Haha, snorting and prancing. I love that Linda. That's precisely what I'm doing.

Sergio DePinto (Re/Max Premier Inc. - Greater Toronto Area) I bet that would be a huge success Sergio. You're not the first person I've heard complaining about the smaller doughnuts at Timmies.

Gayla Worrell (Windermere Real Estate/Everett, Inc.) Gayla, the smile might be a little too much for me to manage. I'm more of a scowler at heart.

Diane Friesen (Century 21 Coastal Realty Ltd.) Diane, you're getting way ahead of me. Ultimately I'd end up with Fastest Crap Ever.

Brian Madigan LL.B. (Royal LePage Innovators Realty, Broker) I can see why Brian. Funky is not something you'd want your Tuna to be. Although there's a restaurant here called the "Funky Carp". I guess we're not that concerned about the state of our fish around here.

Al and Peggy Cunningham, Brokers Voted Best Real Estate People Brampton (RE/MAX Realty Services Inc. Buying or Selling)  Oh, I'd have to charge extra for anyone who had the audacity to come to the drive-thru.

Posted by Malcolm Johnston, Trenton Real Estate (Century 21 Lanthorn Real Estate LTD., Trenton, Ontario) over 8 years ago

Joan Mirantz GRI CBR SRES- Concord New Hampshire Realtor (Homequest Real Estate)Nothing wrong with a well organized coupon clipper Joan. It's those blooming lottery tickets that drive me nuts. People should just pick one and be done with it.

Posted by Malcolm Johnston, Trenton Real Estate (Century 21 Lanthorn Real Estate LTD., Trenton, Ontario) over 8 years ago

Malcolm, Isn't there a store with a big M as a symbol that seems to have that monopoly ;-)


btw, for Sergio, if you are ever Northwest of the GTA, there is a donut chain "Pete's Donuts" that still makes donuts the way you remember...

Posted by Chris Smith, South Simcoe, Caledon, King, Orangeville Real Esta (Re/Max Chay Realty Inc., Brokerage) over 8 years ago

Here we call the lottery "Stupid Tax". I had to wait in line while a guy picked out 26 scratchers. He had to have 2 of those, 3 of these, 2 of the those ... I couldn't believe it! What a waste of 26 dollars, I wonder how long it took him to earn it.

Posted by Cynthia Larsen, Independent Broker In Sonoma County, CA over 8 years ago

 Malcolm - While I don't disagree with you totally, especially when you refer to the lottery tickets, we are a victim of societieslust for instant gratification/satisfaction. ..... The faster things are the faster yet we think they should be. what used to occupy a room and take hours to get an answer from now sits in your palm and you get answers almost instantly which is still not fast enough for some

Posted by Kathy Clulow, Trusted For Experience - Respected For Results (RE/MAX All-Stars Realty Inc. Brokerage) over 8 years ago

I have heard these lotteries that are everywhere called a "Stupid Tax".  I think the really sad part is that is appeals to an audience who can least afford to be gambling with their money, no matter how little at a time they take.  You are so right about the time it takes people to decide too, maybe the delivery mechanism is wrong.  Maybe these tickets don't belong in convenience stores, but I bet if you suggested that they would be up in arms....they get a piece of those sales and it brings more people into the store.   All I can suggest is go early, earlier in the day seems to not be a time people are up and gambling.

Posted by Larry Lawfer, "I listen for a living." It's all about you. (YourStories Realty Group powered by Castles UnlimitedĀ®) over 8 years ago

Lottery vending machines and "do it yourself" areas. I too have no patience to wait in line. But then on the other hand, most grocery store "self serve" lines takes longer than any other!

Posted by Ellie McIntire, Luxury service in Howard County & Catonsville (Ellicott City Clarksville Howard County Maryland Real Estate) over 8 years ago

When you get that first Crap Served Fast store opened, let us know and we'll be your #2 store, but first in the States!

Posted by Jim Frimmer, Realtor & CDPE, Mission Valley specialist (HomeSmart Realty West) over 8 years ago